Life Update: October so far.. | Gin and Glow

Hi everyone, I'm sorry I have been missing for a few weeks. I'm currently struggling with a lot of things in my life - work, relationships, mental health, you name it.

I've been posting in September to help me go through rough times, but recently everything has been harder and to be brutally honest, I've never felt so down this year. I thought 2019 was going to be my year - when I can get a better job, when I can meet someone special and any other magical things.

Well, physically I am OK. I have a lot of work to do and I get stressed because of work but I still manage to survive. I'm not injured or anything, I'm just exhausted.

There has been a lot of ups and downs, I'm finally getting out of my depression but I still have anxiety and the thing with anxiety is that it's so hard to control, once your mind starts overthinking stuff, you're spiralling down and not everyone understands that.

Growing up in a not-so-healthy family environment, I was constantly criticized and I have no freedom, I also lacked attention. Now that I'm an adult I still carry those with me, I need attention, I can't be yelled at and I'm always trying my best to please anyone. Some major issues that go with this are; it may seem like I'm seeking for attention, but I'm literally just trying to make people happy, I do things to make people happy and they don't even respond or at least appreciate with a very tiny nice gesture, I get really sad. When people yell at me, there's a very high chance of me crying.

I also have problems telling people why am I crying because I don't want to sound demanding, I don't want to just dump all of my issues on them because I know some people don't have the mental strength for it.

I know that probably nobody's going to read this post but it feels good to write about it, at least I could vent a little, without having to mentally torture anyone.

I'm not demanding, but please, be patient with me because I'm trying too, I'm battling a lot of things alone so please understand. I could be a burden sometimes, but I never try to make everything about me, I never want to anger anyone or cause anyone some stress, if any of you reading this feel like I'm selfish, attention-seeking and angry, I'm not, and I never meant to cause you that. Sorry.

Another update, I'm currently playing around with a new eyeshadow quad that I will review on this blog. I'll get back to writing beauty posts for you guys, I promise. 

To anyone who read, commented on and follow my blog, thank you very much. I love you and I'll get back on my feet as soon as possible.